


Shooting Star

by Ely



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, First Kiss, Fluff, I've tried to make this as un-angsty as possible, M/M, Mild Language, New Year's Eve, New Year's Fluff, New Year's Kiss, Spoilers, but I'm a sucker for angst so there is a lil bit in there, it's mainly fluff though don't worry, mild angst I suppose??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 09:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9174832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ely/pseuds/Ely
Summary: The past year had simultaneously been the best and the most emotionally taxing year of Saeran’s life, and now he's finally ready to try and find happiness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> would you believe I spent over an hour watching my brother gaming and asking him questions about it so I could write Yoosung more accurately during like the 100 words in this where he talks about LOLOL?? dedication  
> I usually don't give the MC a name in my fics, but I kind of had to in this because it was just too difficult to avoid.  
> also, I know this is a few days late for New Year, but I wanted to share anyway!

It was becoming progressively more difficult for Saeran to see his brother so happy.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want him to be happy. It wasn’t that he thought he didn’t deserve it. It was just the fact that Saeran was so _un_ happy at the same time.

He was trying his absolute hardest to be a better person and to become someone who he felt deserved to be happy. But right now he didn’t feel that way, and as much as he wanted it, he felt as though he’d never actually be able to reach it.

Ironically, this past year had simultaneously been the best and the most emotionally taxing year of Saeran’s miserable life. He had finally been reunited with his brother, and as much as he’d hated to admit it at first, he had missed him. He had been taken from Mint Eye, away from the ‘paradise’ he’d convinced himself he’d been in. He had met his brother’s friends, and they were all nice to him even though he had tried to kill them when he hadn’t been in his right mind. He had the potential for happiness now that he could be independent for the first time in his life, but he had no idea how to go about finding it.

Watching Saeyoung and his fiancée, Minhee, busying themselves around the bunker with setting up for the New Year’s party they had offered to host was just enhancing this feeling of loneliness inside Saeran. He sat on the sofa, staring at them as they pinned up banners and blew up balloons and threw chocolates at each other. Just the way they interacted showed how much they loved each other, and it made Saeran’s insides twist with emptiness. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was ready for a relationship anyway, but that didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be able to find one even if he wanted to.

“Saeran, could you help me put this up?” Minhee picked up a photo frame which had fallen to the floor while she and Saeyoung had been throwing pillows around the room. Saeran stood up.

“Where does it need to go?” he asked, and she pointed to an empty hook on the wall just out of her reach as she handed it to him.

“Thank you.” She smiled warmly at him as the oven in the kitchen beeped. She ran towards it so the cake wouldn’t burn.

Saeran looked at the picture in his hand. It was a photo of him and the RFA at his brother’s engagement party. He looked small and anxious in this photo, and he was the only person not looking at the camera. Behind him was Jumin Han, the corporate heir. Jumin was polite to Saeran, but they didn’t really have a deeper relationship. Zen was next to Jumin, leaning on the back of the sofa and winking. Zen was a little…overly nice. His casualness felt slightly over the top at first, but now Saeran thought that might just be his personality. Next to Zen, was Jaehee Kang. She was nice. In fact she didn’t seem to hold any of his past against him, and treated him as a normal person. Well… as normal as she usually treated people. She could be a little robotic at times. Then there was Yoosung Kim sitting on the arm. He remembered how Yoosung had given up his seat for him in the photo…

Wait a moment. Saeran squinted at the photo. Yoosung wasn’t looking at the camera either. That was odd. Yoosung seemed to be looking at… him? No, he was probably looking at the newly engaged couple sitting on the sofa next to him, but what struck Saeran as strange was that he looked sad. Saeran assumed that maybe Yoosung had a crush on Minhee. When he’d been hacking into the RFA messenger, back when he’d been ‘Unknown’, it seemed like all of them had a crush on her, to be honest. Saeran agreed she was a good person, but he didn’t understand why they were all so obsessed with her.

Saeran liked this picture. He looked sad in it, but everyone else looked happy. Except Yoosung. Perhaps he should ask him why? Although, Yoosung probably didn’t want to talk to him about things like that.

Saeran shook his head to pull himself out of his thoughts and reached to hang the picture back up. He was feeling nervous about the party tonight, but it was only with the RFA. He could handle it… hopefully.

* * *

Jaehee was the first to arrive to the party, punctual as always, closely followed by Jumin. They both looked nice tonight. Saeran noticed that Jaehee wasn’t wearing her glasses, and Jumin was actually not wearing a tie for possibly the first time since Saeran had met him. Saeran always felt inferior standing next to Jumin, and he tugged at the sleeve of his sweater as they made their way into the living room where he was sitting.

“Saeran, it’s good to see you,” Jaehee greeted him, and he stood to be polite, immediately regretting it because he wasn’t sure what to do with his body.

“Yes,” he replied a little stiffly. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“How have you been?” she asked. Saeran bit his lip. Jaehee always asked how he was and how his recovery was going, and he was never quite sure how to respond.

“I’ve been okay, I think.” He hated that his voice sounded so forced. “Thank you for asking. H…how are you?” he figured he should perhaps ask a question in return. That was what normal people did, right?

“Oh… I’ve been…” Her eyes flicked to look at Jumin for a split second before resting back on Saeran. “Coping.” Saeran raised his eyebrows at her and she gave him a pointed look which said _I can’t talk about this in front of my boss_. Saeran liked Jaehee.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Saeran,” Jumin told him. Saeran scratched his arm through his jumper.

“Thanks.”

Zen arrived not long afterwards, claiming he was ‘fashionably’ late. He seemed a little offended that Yoosung was even later than him.

“Hey, bro!” Zen greeted Saeran. Saeran shuffled uncomfortably on his feet.

“Hey… hyung,” Saeran replied. It felt weird to call him that, but he supposed he ought to try and match his friendliness. He was putting in an effort to be nice, after all. Saeran honestly did appreciate it.

Zen went off to find Jaehee and Saeran sat down in his usual place on the sofa. He wondered absently where Yoosung was. He hung out a lot at the bunker because he was friends with Saeyoung, but despite this, Saeran wasn’t particularly close to him. Although… he still felt the most comfortable around him out of anyone else in the RFA. He chatted a lot, but even the silences seemed comfortable with him. It was nice. And he also seemed to genuinely have forgiven Saeran for everything that had happened. He treated him like a normal person rather than someone who could snap at any time, even more so than Jaehee. It was refreshing.

As much as he refused to admit it, he actually had a soft spot for the young, excitable, blond boy.

Saeyoung flopped down next to him on the sofa, earning himself a glare. He was shoving some kind of junk food in his mouth – Saeran didn’t care to identify it.

“He’ll be here soon,” Saeyoung said casually.

“What?” Saeran snapped.

“Yoosung,” Saeyoung clarified, still acting far too overly-casual. “He’ll be here soon. He told me he’s running late.”

“Why are you telling me?” Saeran folded his arms over his chest.

“You keep looking at the door like you’re waiting for someone.” Saeyoung shrugged. “Yoosung’s the only one not here yet. Just figured I’d tell you.”

“I don’t care.”

Saeyoung raised his eyebrows and grinned in that infuriating way he always did when he was making fun of Saeran.

“It’s totally okay to _like_ people, Saeran.”

“I don’t like him,” Saeran grunted stubbornly. “I just don’t hate him.”

“Whatever.” Saeyoung rolled his eyes, still grinning. “He’ll be here soon, anyway. Don’t scare him.”

“Piss off.”

“Whoosh!” Saeyoung stood up dramatically, running away before jumping on an unsuspecting Zen’s back, who yelped and only just managed to keep his balance.

“Idiot,” Saeran mumbled under his breath.

All of a sudden, there was a loud crash and Saeran spun around to see Yoosung falling through the door, knocking over a nearby table and landing on his knees painfully. He yelped as he made contact with the floor and quickly clutched hold of his left knee in pain. Saeran felt his eyebrows draw together in worry, and everyone was staring at Yoosung. It was completely silent except for the sound of Saeyoung’s hysterical laughter from across the room.

“S-sorry I’m late,” Yoosung stammered, grinning a little awkwardly. Jaehee and Zen seemed to snap out of it at that moment, hurrying over to him to help him to his feet. He thanked them a little shakily as they helped him over to the sofa where Saeran was sitting.

“Why are you so late?” Zen asked, clearly trying to stop Yoosung from feeling too embarrassed.

“I… uh… I fell asleep,” he mumbled. Saeran glanced at the clock. It seemed like Jaehee had the same idea.

“At 9pm on New Year’s Eve?” she said as they reached the sofa. Saeran shuffled over so Yoosung had more space.

“Yeah, sorry,” Yoosung apologised again, sitting down heavily.

“I’ll go get you a drink,” Zen said, heading to the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” Jaehee asked him. Yoosung rubbed his knee tentatively before he barked out a small laugh.

“Yeah, just clumsy.”

Saeran looked at him incredulously. Had that happened to him, he would be too embarrassed to face anyone for the rest of the evening. Yoosung’s face was red, but he seemed to be laughing it off.

“I’ll get you an ice pack.” She stood up and headed to the kitchen.

Saeran should say something. He should ask him if he’s okay.

“Did you really fall asleep?” he asked quietly, and he wasn’t sure Yoosung had heard him at first. But then he looked up at the blond boy’s face. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I… uh…” He looked down, and started fidgeting with a stray thread on his sleeve. “Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?” Saeran was really trying to be friendly, but he knew he was coming across as cold. Not just in his voice, but in the fact he was sitting at the very far end of the sofa. He was giving Yoosung space, and he knew it was too much, but he couldn’t bring himself to move closer.

“I… well, I didn’t exactly fall asleep,” he mumbled.

“So you lied?”

“No!” Yoosung exclaimed suddenly, before pausing and murmuring. “Yes.”

“Then why were you late?”

“I… um… I was on a raid…”

“A raid?” Saeran wasn’t sure what he meant for a moment. “Oh, you mean on that game you play.”

“Yeah! LOLOL!” Yoosung seemed pleased that Saeran had remembered he liked to game. How could he forget? It was almost the only thing he spoke about in the chat room. “I couldn’t just leave, because I was with a different team this time. I agreed to help out some newer players so it took longer than I expected.”

“How long did it take?”

“We failed a few times, so probably about three hours,” Yoosung sighed, “It didn’t help that I had to play as a Warlock.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, just I prefer playing as a Hunter. They’re faster and I have better armour and weapons for them. But the team needed a Warlock and no one else knew how to play as one, so I had to switch to my other character which isn’t as high level.”

“Huh.” Saeran didn’t really understand any of this.

“It wasn’t even a rare boss,” Yoosung sighed, leaning back into the sofa. “It was one I’ve played before, but my team had no idea what they were doing so they kept getting killed.”

“Why didn’t you just ditch them?” Saeran asked. It didn’t make sense that Yoosung would stick with bad players. Yoosung gasped, and Saeran felt himself panic a little. Had he gone too far? What had he said wrong?

“Nooo, I couldn’t just ditch them! I’d feel bad! They would have never defeated that boss if I hadn’t helped them!”

“Here you go.” Zen reached the sofa and handed Yoosung what Saeran guessed was a beer. He’d never had alcohol before.

“Thanks, hyung.” Yoosung took the drink and his eyes flicked over to look at Saeran who was looking at the drink intently, “Do you want a drink?”

“Hm? Oh, I don’t drink,” Saeran said as Zen headed away to talk to Minhee. “Well… I mean, I’ve never tried.”

“Oh, really?” Yoosung seemed a little surprised as he took a sip of his beer. Saeran didn’t miss the grimace as he swallowed.

“Why do you drink it if it tastes bad?”

“You don’t drink it for the _taste_ ,” Yoosung giggled. He seemed to be pretty pleased that he knew more about something as adult as alcohol than Saeran did. “Besides, eventually you stop caring about how it tastes, once you’ve had enough. But some drinks you can get don’t taste so bad, like cocktails and stuff.”

“Oh, okay.” Saeran nodded as though he understood. Yoosung glanced at his beer and then back to Saeran.

“Do you want to try some?” he offered.

“I… uh…” Saeran wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea considering his meds, but part of him wanted to try it anyway. “Okay. Just a little.”

He saw Yoosung’s face brighten as he held out the beer for Saeran to take. Saeran was careful not to touch Yoosung’s hand as he took it, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. The bottle was cold and a little wet.

“Here’s an ice pack for your knee.” Jaehee was back, and she handed Yoosung a plastic blue ice pack, which Yoosung took and gratefully pressed against his knee.

“Thank you,” he said thankfully.

“Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll just be over here talking to Zen and Minhee.”

“Will do,” he grinned at her. Saeran noticed he had a dimple on his cheek when he smiled.

Saeran looked back down at the bottle in his hand. He took a deep breath before pressing it against his lips and drinking a little.

It didn’t taste how he had expected. He grimaced slightly as he forced himself to swallow it. It had a strange bitterness to it. He wondered how Zen managed to drink this so often. Yoosung giggled as Saeran handed the bottle back to him.

“Yeah, it’s not great,” he commented, but he wrapped his lips around it and took another swig anyway.

“It’s really not.”

“Saeran!” yelled a voice that could only be his idiot brother’s. “Saeran, what was that?!”

“What?” Saeran sighed and glared at his brother who was running over to him, barely able to prepare himself before he was sat on with Saeyoung’s full weight. “Get _off._ ”

“ _Did you just drink some of Yoosung’s beer?!_ ”

“Yes, now get off me you idiot.” Saeran struggled, trying to push him off. He seemed more annoying than usual today.

“No! My baby brother is not allowed to drink alcohol! You’re too precious!”

“We’re _twins._ ”

“A beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure!”

“Shut up, oh my God, are you drunk?” Saeran complained, trying to push free as Saeyoung wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed his cheek against Saeran’s head, nuzzling him slightly.

“I don’t drink. Maybe I should, then I’ll be more fun!”

“Get. Off. Me.” Saeran was still struggling, but Saeyoung wouldn’t budge.

“Saeyoung, maybe you should give him some space?” Yoosung suggested. Saeyoung’s arms loosened enough for Saeran to shove him to the floor. He landed with an ‘oof’ before pushing his glasses up his nose and looking at Yoosung.

“You’re right. _You’re_ the one who gave him the alcohol!” Before Yoosung could react, Saeyoung lunged at him and sat on him in much the same way he had been sitting on Saeran. Yoosung yelped, trying desperately not to spill his drink all over himself.

“Ouch! My knee! Saeyoung!”

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Saeyoung climbed out of Yoosung’s lap, standing in front of him for a second before pointing an accusing finger at him. “Don’t give my brother alcohol. He’s just a baby.”

“He’s older than me,” Yoosung pointed out.

“Then you’re a baby too!” Saeyoung shrieked loudly, throwing his arms in the air. “Minhee! The babies are drinking beer!”

“What?!” she shrieked just as loudly. “How dare they!”

“This is a disaster,” Saeyoung screeched as Minhee hurried towards them. Saeran noticed she was holding two small glasses in her hands, and she handed one to Saeran and one to Yoosung as she reached them.

“What’s this?” Saeran asked suspiciously, looking down at the drink. It had cream on top of it, but the glass was cold and tiny so it couldn’t be hot chocolate or anything like that.

“Blow job!” Minhee said happily.

“What?!” Yoosung spluttered.

“It’s a shot. It’s called a ‘blow job’. I wasn’t offering an _actual_ blowjob to anyone,” she explained, grinning. Saeyoung groaned from next to her.

“That’s my new year ruined,” he complained. Saeran cringed.

“Oh my God. Stop.” They both giggled.

“Anyway, if you’re gonna drink, you have to do it right and not drink that crappy beer,” Minhee told them. “Put your mouth over the cream and then down the shot.”

“Is this… is this a good idea?” Saeran asked, studying the small glass.

“It’s a fantastic idea!” Minhee insisted. “I’ve already had two.”

Saeyoung kissed her. “Mmhm, yep, I can taste the cream.”

“Go on then!” she insisted, giggling. Saeran and Yoosung made eye contact for a moment, before Yoosung shrugged and held up his glass. Saeran clinked his against Yoosung’s and they both downed it at the same time.

It was better than the beer, but for some reason it made Saeran grimace a little anyway. It was sweet, and the cream was by far the best part, but it was still sharp as it went down his throat. He looked over at Yoosung who was grinning. He had a tiny bit of cream on his upper lip, but he wiped it away with his sleeve.

“That was so good! Who made it?” he asked.

“I did,” Saeyoung proclaimed. “So you can now say you’ve received a blow job from God Seven!”

Yoosung spluttered and blushed. “That’s disgusting.”

Saeyoung wiggled his eyebrows at Yoosung, before Saeran kicked him in the shin. He barely even flinched, but his face fell into an exaggerated scowl.

“How dare you kick me?! Go to your room.”

“Piss off, Saeyoung. Leave us alone,” Saeran glared at him. As much as he loved his brother, he sure was annoying.

“Fine. No more blow jobs for you.”

“Whatever,” Saeran rolled his eyes, barely even fazed by his brother’s stupid behaviour anymore.

As the evening progressed, people began migrating over to the sofa. Saeran retained his spot on the end, but Yoosung was demoted to sitting cross-legged on the floor with Minhee and Saeyoung, while Zen, Jaehee and Jumin sat in his place instead. Saeran was sat next to Zen, his feet pulled up on the sofa as he leaned against the armrest. He was feeling a little lightheaded from the shot, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He found it amazing that Saeyoung had encouraged him to drink, considering his meds. It couldn’t be good. Oh well. It was only one night.

Yoosung, on the other hand, was not handling his alcohol quite as well. He was only on his third beer, but he was noticeably more giggly and was blushing much more. Zen was slurring his words a little, as was Jaehee. Jumin was probably drunk too, but he was staying quiet. Minhee had stopped pretty early on, so she seemed okay. Saeyoung wasn’t drinking, but that hadn’t stopped him from attempting to put the ice pack down the back of Yoosung’s shirt.

Everyone was just chatting. Saeran wasn’t contributing all that much. He never did, really. He watched as the time on the clock crept closer and closer to midnight.

It happened at 11:33.

They were talking about whether or not they’d ever get tattoos. Zen and Saeyoung said they wouldn’t because of their jobs. Jumin said he wouldn’t because it would be unprofessional. Jaehee and Minhee both said they might, but they’d have to think long and hard before committing to it. Yoosung said he didn’t think they’d suit him.

Then Zen turned to him and asked, “Hey, Saeran, would you ever get any tattoos?”

“I…” He trailed off. He felt his anxiety rising in his throat, but he tried pushing it down and acting as though he was a normal person getting asked a normal question. “I already have one.”

“You do?! Let’s see!” Zen exclaimed. Saeran could feel Saeyoung and Minhee’s panicked looks in his direction.

“Um… okay…” he agreed, pulling the neck of his sweater down his right shoulder to reveal the black lines swirling around down his arm.

“Wow!” Zen yelled, making Saeran jump. He could feel his hands shaking and his forehead was breaking out into a cold sweat. “That’s so cool! Where did you get it done?”

He couldn’t handle it anymore. Without another word he yanked his sweater back up over his shoulder, jumped up off the sofa, and ran to the door. He needed to get outside. He needed to breathe.

He felt a hand grab his wrist and he spun around to see Saeyoung holding him back.

“Don’t.” Saeran yanked his arm away, close to tears. “Don’t follow me. I need to… I can’t…” he stammered as he pulled open the door, running up the stairs and bursting into the outside world as quickly as he possibly could.

As soon as he reached the cold air, he tilted his head up to look at the sky. His breathing was shallow and he wasn’t getting enough air at all into his lungs. He fell to his knees on the abandoned street and pressed his fists against the ground, never taking his eyes off the sky. It was cloudy, but some stars were still visible through the gaps. The moon was a fuzzy, glowing orb behind a sheet of clouds and Saeran tried to calm his breathing by looking at it.

How was he supposed to go back in there after that? He was supposed to be trying to act normal, and now they probably all thought he was a freak.

Not that they were wrong.

His thoughts were filled with Mint Eye, but it was nothing specific enough for him to catch and supress. He tried to distract himself. He thought of everything which had happened that evening up until the point he’d ran out the room. It had been good. He had almost felt normal. The RFA were trying their best to make him feel welcome, and he was so grateful for that.

He tried to fill his thoughts with the members’ faces and how they seemed to care for him. Zen hadn’t meant to push him over the edge like that.

Saeran wasn’t sure how long he had been kneeling there, trying to control his breathing, when he heard a small voice from behind him.

“Saeran?”

He let out a long breath and slowly closed his eyes, not turning to face the person who’d come to see him.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised in a quiet voice.

“You have nothing to apologise for,” said the voice. Saeran fought his way through his foggy thoughts to register that it was Yoosung who was speaking to him. “You ran outside without your jacket. I thought you might be cold,”

Saeran squeezed his eyes closed even more, trying desperately not to cry at the obvious concern this boy was showing for him. Perhaps Saeyoung had sent him? Saeran didn’t care. All that mattered was that he was here now.

“Thank you,” he whispered, opening his eyes and turning slightly as he reached out for the jacket. Yoosung handed it to him and he pulled it on. He hadn’t realised how cold he was until he had the jacket on. Yoosung made his way to stand in front of Saeran, holding his hand out. Saeran looked at it, confused.

“Your knees will get cold if you stay kneeling down there.” Yoosung gave him a small smile, which Saeran returned. He noticed how the orange glow of the streetlamps shone against Yoosung’s blond hair, making his look strangely angelic. Saeran slipped his ice-cold hand into Yoosung’s soft, warm one and pulled himself up into a standing position.

He had never been this close to Yoosung before, but now that he was, he registered that he wasn’t as much taller than him as he had expected. He noticed Yoosung’s sparkling purple eyes, and a hint of a dark brown colour at the roots of his hair, and the faint dimple he’d glimpsed earlier. Saeran had always thought Yoosung had a round kind of baby face, but now he could see a hint of his jawline, which was sharper than he’d expected it to be from a distance.

“Thank you,” Saeran breathed again, and Yoosung giggled a little before dropping Saeran’s hand from his. Their breaths were visibly leaving their mouths in little clouds, curling between them before disappearing completely into the winter air.

“Are you okay?” Yoosung asked, his smile leaving his face and his eyebrows pulling together in worry.

“I… yeah… I am now,” Saeran stuttered a little as he spoke, before squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head. “Sorry. I’m not good at…” he trailed off yet again, finishing his sentence by gesturing vaguely to the building behind him.

“That’s okay,” Yoosung reassured him, smiling again. “Sometimes I get a little anxious around people I don’t know that well, too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, before his eyes suddenly widened, “Oh! I don’t mean that we’re not all your friends! Just… just we haven’t known each other that long, and so I understand if you feel uncomfortable or anything. We all really like you!” Saeran felt a genuine smile forming on his face as Yoosung rambled.

“It’s okay, I know what you meant.”

There was a short pause in conversation, and Yoosung looked as though he was thinking hard about something. “I just want you to know that if there are ever any days where you feel bad, you can talk to me,” he took in a deep breath before carrying on, “I might not be able to completely understand, but I want to help, and maybe you can feel better just by talking to someone. Also, if you ever want to leave the bunker, just call me and we can go somewhere for the day. Wherever you want! I mean… you don’t have to, but if you think it might help…” Yoosung shrugged, looking down at his feet for a moment, “I’d like to get to know you better,”

“Really?” Saeran was surprised at this. He wasn’t sure why anyone would want to get to know Saeyoung’s awkward, less funny, emotionally damaged twin brother. The words coming out of Yoosung’s mouth were touching Saeran’s heart in a way he had never felt before.

“Of course!” Yoosung looked up at him. Saeran could see a slight flush in his cheeks under the soft light from the streetlamps. Perhaps he was cold. Saeran felt as though his heart was catching in his throat at that moment. “You seem like a really nice person, and I want to be friends with you.”

“Friends,” Saeran repeated the word. “Yeah… I can do that.” He smiled a little, and caught his eyes dropping to Yoosung’s lips for a second. They were pink and plump and looked soft. Saeran often bit his own lips a lot out of anxiety, so he was certain his wouldn’t be soft. Wait… why was he thinking about Yoosung’s lips?

“Good,” Yoosung breathed, sounding relieved that he hadn’t been rejected. “Do you think you’re ready to go back inside now?”

In all honesty, Saeran was ready to go back inside. Except he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay out here with Yoosung.

“I’d rather stay outside with you,” Saeran told him. “Unless you’d rather go back in?”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind,” Yoosung giggled. “I like being with you. I mean… I like being out here and hanging out with you.” He stumbled over his words and Saeran felt himself laugh a little. It was strange how quickly his anxiety had dissolved. Usually his ‘episodes’ lasted a minimum of an hour, but now he could feel that his face was warm rather than cold and sweaty. Was he blushing? He hoped it wasn’t too obvious if he was.

“So do I.”

“Hey, is your face cold?” Yoosung asked suddenly.

“Huh?”

“It looks kind of red, like maybe you’re cold?”

“Oh… uh…” Saeran’s eyes darted around, trying to think of an excuse. He almost jumped out of his skin when Yoosung reached up and gently pressed the back of his hand against Saeran’s cheek. Saeran sucked in a breath and held it as he felt Yoosung’s soft hand against his skin.

“You’re really warm,” Yoosung commented, his voice soft. “So… so am I. Look.” He dropped his hand from Saeran’s face and reached out, grasping hold of Saeran’s wrist gently and pulling his hand up to his cheek. Saeran pressed his palm against the warm, soft skin of Yoosung’s face.

“I… yeah, you are warm,” Saeran managed to breathe. Yoosung’s hand slid up to rest on Saeran’s.

“Your hand’s cold. It feels nice.”

Saeran felt like he might choke on his own breath if he tried to speak, so he just let his lips twitch into a smile as he heard some people in a nearby house start yelling.

“ _Twenty! Nineteen! Eighteen…”_

“Hey, Saeran?” Yoosung said nervously, not moving his hand from Saeran’s, but pressing against it lightly enough that Saeran could move his away if he wanted to.

“Mmhm,” Saeran hummed in response.

“P-people… people usually kiss someone on New Year.”

_“Thirteen! Twelve! Eleven…”_

“Oh,” was all Saeran could say to that.

“I… I’ve never kissed someone on New Year.”

“Me either,” Saeran breathed, trying to stop his voice catching in his throat.

_“Eight! Seven…”_

“Would you like to?” Yoosung asked so quickly Saeran wasn’t certain he’d heard correctly.

“Yes.” His voice was barely audible anymore.

_“Four! Three! Two…”_

“One,” Yoosung whispered, as he leaned towards Saeran. Saeran met him halfway, and both paused for a moment before pressing their lips together.

“ _Happy New Year!”_

Saeran had been right. Yoosung’s lips were soft. He slid his hand down slightly, cupping Yoosung’s jaw instead, but Yoosung’s hand still didn’t leave Saeran’s. Saeran felt his other hand find its way to Yoosung’s waist, and Yoosung gripped his upper arm, both pulling each other closer. Their noses bumped together clumsily and their breaths were shallow and quick, but Yoosung’s lips were warm and smooth and welcoming and Saeran never wanted to stop kissing him.

Eventually they both pulled their lips apart, but they stayed in the same position. Saeran looked at Yoosung’s flushed face and his purple eyes and the pink lips which he’d just kissed.

“Now I understand why people kiss,” Yoosung breathed. Saeran smiled. He did too.

“Happy New Year, Yoosung,” Saeran said.

“Happy New Year, Saeran,” Yoosung said, as he threw his arms around the older boy’s neck and hugged him close. Saeran felt warm and happy for the first time in a long time as he buried his face into Yoosung’s shoulder, breathing in his scent and circling his arms around his waist.

This was going to be a good year.


End file.
